Yesterday's happenings

I was late for cg yesterday...as usual. Alvin taught lesson through the ma jong(is this how you spell it?) paper. The lesson was about temptations and how we should conquer them. I find the answers kinda clishe. People always say "pray/read the word of God" as answers to conquer temptations. But how many of us do that or even consider is as an option if we really are tempted somehow? Imagine this situation(gals) : You walk into a shop(say mango, surf babe, etc), and you spotted a nice top. You are tempted to buy but you can't for some reasons. Will you start to take out your bible and read or pray? Ok...you may say "I'll do that later when I get back home." Upon reaching home, will you do so? I doubt it. That's one problem I see in the cg and in myself too. Why can't we go deeper, instead of giving superficial answers? As much as I want to, I don't seem to be able to. I often question my faith and the more I think about it, the more uncertain I get. But when people question my faith, I jump on a defence. To others I may seem like I am a person with lots of faith but in actual fact I'm empty. By joining a ministry, I hope to be able to get back on track. Till now however, I'm still lost. I guess it's because I'm unsure of myself that I wasn't able to lead in school. Like what Ashley said I'm spiritually dry that's why Satan can put thoughts of destruction in my mind and I'm seeing myself falling from a leader to a nothing. Negative thoughts are constantly in my mind. I know that. People say "pray, have faith and believe that god will help you through" Superficial suggestions again. Yes, pray. But the problem with me is that I do not have an intimate relationship with God in the first place, so even if I pray, it seems that I'm just talking to no one. Faith, I need to have it which I don't at the moment.