A talk with Mrs Low

Today is the first day of the term. Went to school with a heavy heart, not knowing what's going to happen in school today. Why? I didn't turn up for the camp, 2 camps to be exact. For the first camp, I cannot make it because I have ministry commitment every friday. Had to go to woodlands for choir practice. It is tiring but worth it because we are singing for the glory of God. Of cause, it's partly my fault that I didn't bother to explain to my prefects on why I didn't turn up for the sec 1 camp let alone the meeting. The meeting was on the 28th of feb. I was only informed on the day itself that there was a meeting. Beinng already very drifted from PB, I was naturally unhappy that I was not told in advance. Moreover our mini examination was the following week and i had not prepared at all. I had a talk with Mrs Low today and she said I should have at least gotten myself involved in the planning. What I didn't tell her is that I would have if I was informed in advance. In that case I would have myself mentally prepared for a "pia".(meaning: to rush through a last minute revision) Haix...I felt guilty but what can I do? They don't give a damn about me already. So that's one mistake made. Another mistake is that I failed to contribute to the planning of the prefect's camp. I mean I asked Mrs Low if that's my fault. She said that she got Honsonn to plan because he's good at planning camps as he has been through many camps so he is stronger in this area and that most of the potential excos are down for the planning. Then there was a shift in focus, we are moving towards counsellor and so some sec 4s are involved. She understands that planning for camps are not my cup of tea and that everyone is strong in different areas. Now, after planning comes the real thing. The reason why I didn't turn up is partly because I'm sick and something else as well. Like what I have mentioned in my previous entries, I feel that my place, my stand in the board has been taken away from me by people who have so much enthusiastic for the board and of cause they are truely capable. It didn't take me a long time to realise that I lack support from the board and that I'm not as capable. This is how I have been feeling all this while. I feel that I'm not fit to be a head prefect and I guess many thought so too. I really wish to clear up misunderstands with my excos and prefects. I'm really sorry for the damage that I've done and I wish to make it up to them. I know there isn't much time left because I will be stepping down soon. But I hope by then, I can leave the board with no worries and leave the school with great life lessons that comes from my experiences as a student in Junyuan and knowing that the board is in good hands. There are a few people in my mind that I feel can be president and vice-president of the board. I hope that my judgement is not wrong and that they can lead a whole new board of counsellors not prefects. Yup...