I was asked whether I doubted God before.

I must admit that I do doubt God at times especially when things do not turn out my way or when things do not turn out well. Take my studies for example, I have seen such horrible grades in my life before, I have never felt so helpless in my studies before and failure was never in my dictionary before until I entered JC. Typically, studies is an important aspect of a student's life and it has tremendous effects mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If everything is going on well, that's good. If it's not then it's really draining for the student in all 3 areas. Even till now, 4 months away from A levels, I'm still collecting Us? It really makes me feel so pathetic as I start to feel hopeless and yes it has led to some doubt.

As I thought about it, a realisation dawned upon me...

Tests symbolises life. Like in any tests, there would be difficult and easy questions just like in life there would be times of trials(difficult moments) and times of tranquility. We may not get all the questions right just like how in life we may not make the right choices all the time. When we get back our scripts and go through it we'll realise where we made mistakes and hopefully we'll learn from it and not make those same mistakes again. In life we may make the wrong choices that'll lead us to an undesirable situation but the important thing is not to regret and dwell too much on the mistake made but to find out about it, move on and not make the same mistake again. Tests are not easy, life is not easy. Just like how we cannot predict the questions in a test, we cannot predict life too. As a result, we'll never know the answers to the tests, just like we'll not know fully what's going to happen in out lives. Only the setter of the paper knows all the questions and answers to them. Here, God is the setter of the test, he's the setter of our life. He knows all the questions and answers to life for He's out creator and father. Just like how we turn to our teachers for help in our subjects, similarly we can turn to God for help and answers too. Our teachers may not know everything but God do. He knows every single thing about us. At this moment as we're nearing prelims/promos, in desperacy we arrange for consultations with out subject teachers hoping to create a miracle in out studies. In desperacy, we too can arrange for consultations with God. Our teachers may not have all the time in the world for us, but God as all the time in eternity to communion with us.

Jeremiah 3:33
"Call out to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
(That's why I like the number 333 haha!)

Prelims/promos is in another 8 weeks. My faith is really being put to the test this time and I;m sure it's just me. I pray that if there's anyone who's feeling the same way and going through something similar to mine, we shall not lose hope but be more prayerful. I'm thankful that recently a prayer group is established in my class. Let us believe that prayers can move the hands of God! Praise the Lord!